Hunger

The Hunger Games: Appease the Hunger, Avoid the Hanger

Level of Concern: Moderate - Extreme

In the event that your significant other experiences a feeling of hunger and vocalizes it to you, it is important to understand that this is more complex than simply offering her a candy bar or some granola. This condition may cause aggressive mood swings, agitation, lack of patience and a desire to generate conflict. Unfortunately, this condition does not allow your partner to understand what they are hungry for or where they would like to eat. Time is not on your side.

Immediate Action:

If the, “I’m hungry” condition has been felt and stated verbally, you are already on borrowed time. Your immediate response may be:

“What are you hungry for?” Wrong

“Where would you like to eat?” Wrong

“Do you want to go here…?” Wrong

These are all wrong. In fact, returning her emotional responses with a question may cause a heightened state of agitation because YOU should have planned accordingly and known that it was near feeding time (Illustrated below).

Daily Feeding Chart for Men & Women

Men graze throughout the course of the day, enabling them to skip or prolong the time between meals. (Peanut butter, cheese, deli meat, cereal, anything microwavable or carb loaded will suffice.)

Women require three solid meals. (breakfast, lunch & dinner). Intermittent nibbling will occur but this may be done in secret or when no one is looking.

The important thing now is to act quickly. More than likely the expectation is for you to take her to a restaurant or moderately respectable dining establishment (drive-thru will not do). YOU are now in charge and must make the decision of the dining location on your own. Be confident, non-wavering and most importantly refrain from asking her questions…Just get there quickly. Even though she may look disinterested, there will be options for her that could appease and satisfy the condition. Accommodating vegan, gluten-free, carb-free diets will be challenging and not always attainable. My hats off to you. The path you have chosen is uphill but I’m sure she’s worth it.

Foresight:

Discussing meals prior to an outing or feeding time (as discussed in the afore mentioned chart) will engage your significant other before her thoughts are consumed by the condition and affect her ability to produce coherent thoughts or control unmitigated rage “hanger”. In the event that you are not able to quickly escort your girlfriend to an eating establishment, having a bag of candy, chocolate, or treats may buy you a few seconds. Mind you, these treats are to be used in the event of an emergency, ONLY. Otherwise, you will be viewed as lacking empathy or trying to bypass a meal.

Note: Upon finding a suitable location to accommodate her hunger, she may only take a few bites and become full. Do not make any comments. Proceed as you would with any meal and appreciate the fact that you accomplished the ultimate goal of appeasing her hunger. Good Luck!