The Chauffeur & the Side-Seat Driver

Level of Concern: Low-Moderate

One unspoken, delegated duty of being in a relationship is wearing the hat of the Chauffeur. The thought may cross your mind, “hmmm…I wonder when she’ll take the wheel?" Usually, on the stroll to the car, the woman will firmly, without hesitation (smart on her part) and showing extreme conviction, leave your side and depart for the passenger side door. The assumption and reality is that you are responsible for driving her to your intended destination…for the duration of your relationship. After a few months, this pattern will become a routine, and to give the appearance of even driving quotas, your girlfriend will occasionally take the wheel during an outing to an easily accessible venue. Often, prior to the drive, you will be given an odd look or be on the receiving end of, “I guess I’ll drive,” like all of your previous driving efforts don’t warrant you this break in driving duties.

While wearing the hat as chauffeur, you may be susceptible to criticism on your driving abilities from your co-pilot/Ms. Daisy. Her quick grab of the “oh shit” handle when you push the brake a little too firmly, or questioning of “why are you in this lane” often leaves you questioning, “why doesn’t she just drive”? To disrupt things further, important directions provided by your significant other/navigator are usually given when a turn has been missed or you are in the furthest lane from the exit. Although you are both on the same team, it may appear that she is trying to sabotage the ride or inflict evil mind games while you are attempting to deliver everyone onboard safe and sound to your destination. More often than not, turns, lane selection, and surrounding car positions are given late or incorrectly. This will cause you heightened anxiety, which will usually result in you raising your voice, which will have to be apologized for upon reaching the destination.

Immediate Action:

Prior to beginning your journey, it may be best to go to a quiet place and prepare for the drive with a silent pep talk. A best practice if your destination is unfamiliar is to Google the location and mentally drive there without the distraction of your partner. Now that you are in a good headspace, prepare for the attempts from your girlfriend to break your zen state of mind. Before turning the key or pressing the button for ignition, take one deep breath and off you go. With the unpredictability of traffic, weather, or your girlfriend's hunger, it is usually best to put the radio on to a station of her liking and let her sing a little off-key. The objective now is to get to your destination as quickly as possible. The longer you remain in a confined space with your significant other, the odds of you saying or doing something to elicit a negative response from your girlfriend increase. As with every situation in this blog, you will notice that hunger will also rear its ugly head if gone unaddressed for a period of time. As noted in the "Hunger" section, ensure she is fed prior to or there is a plan for feeding before assuming your positions in the vehicle. Safe travels!